


Soft Hearts, Electric Souls

by 7seabear



Series: Fractured Hearts, A Fruits Basket oc Rika Hayashi series [3]
Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019)
Genre: A Story In Five Parts, Alcohol, Best Friends, Cameos, Crossing Timelines, F/M, Love, Multi, Post fractured hearts, Rooftop Conversations, all the Sohma's need some kind of therapy, family support, varying levels of content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7seabear/pseuds/7seabear
Summary: A five part follow-up to Fractured Hearts, and the lives of the Sohma family. Rated M to be safe as the chapters will vary in themes and rating.
Series: Fractured Hearts, A Fruits Basket oc Rika Hayashi series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818661
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Water

The snow was going to be almost impossible to walk in, let alone drive. It had come down in flurries the last hour of their journey until they'd reached the ryokan in Hokkaido, coating the world in white perfection. An illusion ruined by the vehicles that had dared brave the rural roads. At least until they were further into the mountains, creeping out of civilisation.

"You look excited." She could hear the grin in Hatori's voice before she turned, Rika nodding.

"It's been six months since I've seen them. Of _course,_ I'm excited."

"Them." He laughed. "As if you haven't been texting Kyo non-stop since we left the house. Do you even remember Tohru's name?" She stuck her tongue out at him for his cheek, despite the fact it was rooted in some level of honesty. She adored Tohru, but when it came to the Honda girl or her best friend – well, it was no competition. Before she could form a half-hearted protest, her phone pinged to reveal another text.

_E.T.A?_

She tapped out a hasty two-minute mark according to their GPS, leaning across the controls to peck the man on the cheek. Allowed her hand to sweep along his arm and dance over the back of his palm.

"Are you _jealous_?"

"Only of the fact that soon as we stop, I know I'm hardly going to see you for five days. Now take those hands back to your side of the car before I crash this thing."

Laughing, Rika withdrew. When the car drew to a halt there was a familiar form waiting on the steps of the ryokan and she was pushing her way from the seat with haste. Hatori's chuckling echoed behind her as she burst free without even grabbing a coat, the steps having been cleaned down enough to traverse them safely. Rika was in Kyo's arms before he could get a word out, sending them both tumbling into the piles of shovelled snow at the edge of the path.

" _Sheesh_ , you're a psychopath," He was grinning as she smothered his face in cold kisses, shoving her off into the snow, "An _actual_ psychopath."

"I missed you too ungrateful swine." In retaliation the man shoved snow at her, a fight ensuing until Hatori's throat clearing from the steps behind them gave them pause.

"While I appreciate that our family has booked this place out for three of the next five days, that hasn't quite begun yet and I'd really rather not have to explain this to other guests _or_ treat you both for hypothermia."

Sheepish, the pair returned to their feet and Rika slotted an arm around Hatori's waist. The man swore as her fingertips brushed the bared skin between coat and she skittered away with her bag snagged from his hands.

"Inside," He demanded, an exasperated look thrown her way before turning his eyes on Kyo, "Good to see you again. Where's Tohru?"

"I'll go find her. You good to check us in?" Rika announced from the door, man giving a resigned nod and turning back to Kyo once more. Kyo shouted the room number in her wake as she took off but it turned out unnecessary. Tohru had obviously been on route, the smarter of the pair in that she'd decided to shrug on a coat and scarf to brave the frigid outdoors. _That idiot_ , she mused, _he was as excited to see me as I was him._

Rika's greeting for the other woman was a _fraction_ less exuberant but no less full of love. Visits that had dwindled to six-month intervals in the past five years had not dulled the joy Rika felt each time she found her family all in one location again. Granted, for the next two days her family would consist of Hatori, Kyo and Tohru but she was alright with that. There was catching up to be done.

After, of course, a trip to the _very_ nice collection of baths that the ryokan had advertised. Slotting an arm through Tohru's, she asked the other woman to lead the way.

* * *

"Figured I'd find you here. Looked for the highest point in the building that's open air and _ding ding_ , there's Kyo."

"Yeah, yeah, you're a regular private eye." Despite his tone Kyo happily claimed the large cup of hot chocolate that she carried along with her. The man had found the best view in the entire ryokan, a mapped-out expanse of the wooded land that surrounded them. Between trees was the glitter of lights. Lanterns that would lead their way down to the lake nearby.

"Are you keeping a weather eye on the horizon in case Kagura tries to sneak up on you?" Kyo nearly choked on his first mouthful, Rika patting his back while the tears streamed down his cheeks.

"You cow. You did that on purpose."

"You can never prove it." Her smile gave away too much for that to be true, Rika lowering herself onto the ledge beside him. "Besides, I hear she's bringing that girl she brought to Aya's wedding again."

" _Oh_?" Rika nodded. Taking on the arduous task of arranging this entire thing had felt like an insurmountable collection of headaches but surprisingly, most of it had fallen together easily enough. It had been long enough since Ayame's wedding that everyone had forgotten they detested spending more than a night in one another's presence. Barring the likes of Kisa and Tohru of course. They'd have happily lingered in the full collection of cousins for weeks if given the opportunity.

"When's everyone else arrivin' then?" Her mouth puckered at the question as Kyo busied himself by stretching the blanket he'd been wearing as a cape to cover her shoulders too.

"You and I have tonight and tomorrow in peace." He gave a quiet sigh. "After that, Ayame will probably be first to arrive and he's driving Mine, Kagura, and Suki. Yuki is bringing Machi but they said it could be late in the evening when they arrive. Shigure is driving Akito, Kisa, Momiji and Hiro. Haru and Rin are bringing themselves. The day after that, Kureno and Arisa, but they're only staying a night. Ritsu is coming with Mitsuru on the basis that I think anyone else would murder them if they'd to sit in a car with them for too long." The pair would probably have apologised for it too. Kyo's expression was pensive, and Rika realised that it had been since she'd come to find him. After a while he spoke again.

"So Kureno's comin'?"

"I got Arisa to convince him so we can at least do one dinner with everyone. I've made sure his and Akito's rooms are far away from one another, and I made her promise to give him space to acclimate. Saki would've been here too, but she was afraid that Shishou would keel over if he had to live without her cooking for a few days." Kyo's slotted look was accompanied by a hitch of an eyebrow. A faint laugh. "Besides, she understood that this was more about the Sohma's meeting and was the one who helped me convince Akito to agree to this. Not without difficulty though."

"You can talk to her frankly like that?" Rika's face went smooth as she tried to parse together an honest answer. She and Akito's relationship now was a frayed ribbon. It might hold together and remain beautiful but it was just as liable to break. Sisterhood was a faraway concept still, but they worked well as a team to keep the business on track and Akito took criticisms far better than she used to. Rough patches were still inevitable, but therapy had helped some. Their past was a fixed point. All they could change was how they looked at it and processed it. Or, in Akito's case, worked on making amends.

"Some days." That was the most honest answer she could give. "It's going to be weird, all of us together again like this isn't it?"

"A lot changed." Rika laughed as she told him it was an understatement, picking up the hand Kyo had dropped into his lap. Thumbing her fingertip over the simple ring on his finger before slotting their hands together. She discarded her now empty mug behind them, tucking her other hand against her stomach. Partly for warmth. Partly for – well, _comfort_.

"Was it weird? To get married so young?"

"I don't know. At first, maybe? I think when you know, you know, right?" Kyo smiled wryly, "And it was easier to explain us living together. What about you and Hatori? Would you want to marry him?"

Rika's mouth opened and shut for a moment. One knee was tucked beneath her chin, the other leg crossed in front of her. It wasn't a remarkably comfortable position but then, very few felt comfortable these days. A gnawing realisation had been building within her stomach, waiting for her to acknowledge it. _Not yet_ , she thought to herself, _I'm not ready yet._

"I'm not averse to it. We've spoken about it a couple times, but I don't feel like we _need_ a certificate to prove we're devoted to each other. Plus, weddings can be expensive and you _know_ Ayame would just make a giant deal about it if we had a Shinto one. Or even a western style one." She shook her head at the horror of _that_ possibility. "I'm happy with him as things are but if he wanted to," A tentative smile rose, "I'd be just as happy to do it too."

She looked over her shoulder at a noise from inside and felt her cheeks heat somewhat at how quickly she'd reacted. For all the honesty she was equipped to offer Kyo, there was a reason she'd sought him out alone. As long as she'd recalled, he had been a sounding board. Her confidant. There were few secrets she kept from Hatori and all of the ones she _did_ keep were innocent, but still the idea of him overhearing a discussion like this was somewhat embarrassing. Rika didn't speak again until it had been quiet a long stretch.

"I just want him to be happy you know?"

"He said he's going to relax. That should make him happy, shouldn't it?" Rika laughed, coughing as she realised what Hatori was in for when he went rifling through his bag.

"Oh, he'll be _very_ relaxed when he discovers I replaced all the books he packed with some of Shigure's old romance novels." She _had_ packed a few of his choices into her own bag sneakily, but she was very much looking forward to the game while it lasted.

"How has that man not murdered you yet?" Kyo asked with exasperation.

"Sentimentality," Rika quipped, mouth twitching upward at the edge. "And he loves me. Foolish as it might seem."

The redhead bumped her shoulder lightly, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I reckon he does."

Rika tugged the blanket closer around her shoulders, teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. In this weather it was too cold to pull her hands free to twist at her hair but somehow, she doubted even that old crutch would work now.

"Kyo, can I tell you something?" He gave her a sideways glance, concern flooding his features.

"Always."

"Okay, so…"

* * *

"Rika," The woman groaned as she turned in the sheets, pulling the blankets higher, "Rika, c'mon. Time to get up."

Blearily opening one eye, she squinted at the dial of her watch.

"Hari," It took effort to get his name out between her lips, "It's four freaking a.m. This is early even for me."

"I know," He had lain down beside her, pressing his nose to the curve of her neck. It was cold enough that she squeaked, "But I want to get some of these last few hours with you in before all the lunatics arrive. There's fresh fallen snow."

Blowing out her cheeks to show disgruntlement, despite the fact that it was this utter sentimental crap that made her love him even more, Rika rubbed a hand over her face.

"Do I have to properly dress for this adventure?"

"Coat and boots will do."

Amidst endless grumbling, the woman managed to cobble together an outfit worthy of the weather beyond their heated room. Hatori, as always, looked immaculate. The _bastard_. Midway to tying her boots up, she peered at him a little closer.

"Have you slept at _all_?"

"A little bit." Barking a laugh, she proclaimed that he was going to be _remarkably_ pleasant by the time Shigure and Ayame arrived in their peak holiday mode. He merely smiled back, urging her on with her dressing. She'd abandoned the group after midnight, the previous night having caught up with her. Talking with Kyo until three a.m. had been great in theory but in practice, it was beginning to yield its own collection of shadows beneath her eyes. Which made Hatori's insistence that they wake all the more exhausting. Still, his excitement was something new. Palpable.

Scrubbing at her eye with her right hand, the left was tucked into her boyfriends as they crept down the halls and eventually stopped beside one of the shoji doors.

"Close your eyes." Rika frowned.

"Why, so I can fall down the steps? Don't be dumb. It's fresh snow Hari. We'll see more of it tomorrow." Hatori laughed at her refusal, shaking his head.

"Do you _have_ to be difficult all the time? Close your damn eyes." Throwing her hands up, she decided to entertain him. He took her hand again, slotting his arm beneath her elbow as he led her into the small rock garden they'd seen earlier in the day. The hostess had assured them it was stunning in spring but in the deepest part of winter, it was hardly more than a few early blooming plum trees laden with snow. Pretty, but cold.

"You like me better that way." Her boot found the swept path that the man guided her to, his hands never leaving her own. The space was sheltered enough that the cold wasn't an immediate jolt to the system but Rika was still craving her bed. Another five hours of sleep even. They were both going to regret this when Ayame arrived at full throttle, slinging about bottles of sake and advice like he was some kind of freaking guru.

"Okay…" Hatori's breath was close, warming her cheek and even with her reservations she smiled. Leaned into him. "Now open."

It took a jarring second to recognise what she was seeing, tired eyes adjusting slowly to the sea of twinkling lights and shapes that now filled the garden. Strung between every available branch and blossom was a whole collection of fairy lights interspersed with what looked like _hundreds_ of tiny animals. Reaching out to brush her fingers over one, the woman gave a small gasp.

"Hari, these are _silk_."

"Yeah."

"This must have taken _months_."

"I had help." Boggling at the display before her, Rika stepped away to look at the selection. A small dragon folded in greens and golds. Roses of black, pink, red and white. All the zodiac, even the cat. Her mind rebelled against it, each glance offering something new to see. Turning back to him, she found she was fully awake. The faint lights were stunningly beautiful but not nearly as lovely as the smile on his face.

"How did you – _why_?"

"Rika," He beckoned her back to him and she moved willingly, tiredness forgotten. Something electric had begun to hum beneath her skin from the look on his face, "I know we discussed this before and we don't need a certificate to _prove_ our commitment to one another. That said, maybe a certificate isn't a bad thing if it can give us an extra excuse to bring our family together. To let me call you my _wife_. That is, if you would let me?"

"If I'd let you what?" Her ears were buzzing.

"Marry you." Air whooshed from her lungs in one exhale, grip tightening against his hands. Hatori bowed his head to hers, a chaste kiss dropped on her brow. "I love you. You're impossible and brilliant and I've loved you since I figured out what the hell love was. I've loved you through the bond, and beyond it. Loved you even when you threatened to castrate me after I spilled coffee on your thesis." A muffled snort came from behind the scarf wound around her neck. "So please, even if all you want us to do is go to a registry office when we're back in Tokyo, _please_ , marry me."

Her breath fogged as she exhaled.

"I _don't know_ …" His eyes turned wide, face pale, before her laughter bubbled free and she hooked an arm around his neck, " _Sorry_. Sorry that was cruel. Of course I'll marry you."

"No, I'm rescinding it. You're a wretched human being."

"Strong words from a man who's grinning like a lunatic." She arched onto her toes to kiss him as a gagging noise sounded from above them. Twisting to see, she was in time to watch Tohru try to smother Kyo's complaint with her scarf. _Would you want to marry him_? That sly bastard.

"For someone who gave his blessing you're awfully hypocritical." Kyo's head, topped with a hat, appeared on the second-floor balcony.

"How'd you figure I went and did a dumb thing like that?"

"Intuition," Her gaze slid to Hatori who was rolling his eyes. "Kazuma too?" It certainly explained the sudden need for him to go visit the dojo _and_ catch Kyo alone. The doctor nodded; his smile wry. She took his hand again, tugged it around her waist. Now or never. "I ah – had something to tell you too actually. Though I was going to wait until after this trip when I could get a test and confirm it."

Kids were an unknown factor. Along with marriage, they'd mapped out what their life might look like in ten years. Children were always meant to be part of the picture, and the original plan had been to come off her medication in the autumn with the expectation not to _have_ expectations until at least a year. Biology often took time. _Except…_

"Oh my god." The words were echoed between Hatori and Tohru, a scrambling noise as the other woman made for the doorway. When Kyo's head disappeared too, Rika allowed herself to look back to her fiancé.

"Is that – are you _okay_ with that? I mean I could be wrong, but I'm five days late and I've been kind of off form and stupidly sentimental and - " She was cut off with a kiss, Hari cradling her face between his hands until all the oxygen had been burned up and her head spun wildly. The shoji door that stood between the garden and hallway cracked open as Tohru came hurtling out.

"For real?" It could have been the lights, but Rika was quite sure there were literal _stars_ in the other woman's eyes. Or it could've also been oxygen deprivation. _When did he learn to kiss like that?_ "Are you going to be a mom? And Hatori a dad? Really? _Really?"_

Truth be told, she hadn't intended to have an audience for it but it was the easiest way to mask the fact that Kyo had been the first to know. To remind her that she was _ready_ for this and had someone who loved her and would love their child with everything he had within him. Speaking of -

"Hari, love?" He hadn't released her face. Barely even registered that Tohru was present with Kyo bringing up the rear. "Are you okay?"

"I'm ecstatic." She cupped his face in her palms again to offer another kiss, protecting the vulnerable look he sported from the others. He tugged her into the warmth of his arms, tucking his chin against her head.

"Congrats idiots," Kyo finally padded out into the garden, expression soft, "I thought there was a ring?"

" _Shit_. Knew I forgot something." Hatori ran his hands through his coat pockets and with Rika still ensnared against his chest he held out the small box. "I didn't want to presume, but if you would _like_ a ring?" Laughing, she tilted her head back to glance at him and brought her hands up to open the box with him.

Tohru gave a soft sigh of contentment as the platinum piece glinted in the light and Rika felt her heart swell further. A simple band with three stones inlaid at the centre. Unlikely to tarnish, and even less likely to draw the eye of every person in a room bar this one unique night in question. In short, it was freaking _perfect_.

"I love you." She pressed a kiss to Hatori's cheek, wrestling off her gloves to slip the ring onto her finger. Turned her attention to the other couple. "And you both. I love you guys too."

Tohru bounded into her arms before Hatori could release her, the woman sobbing openly and with abandon. Over her shoulder she made eye contact with Kyo. "And you," She mouthed, "I love you too."

* * *

Much of the arrivals had already taken place, the Sohma's now occupying all the available rooms in the establishment. Not that their hosts seemed to mind, they'd gone above and beyond to accommodate each and every whim. Which, when your party included the likes of Ayame and Mine Sohma – was a rather impressive feat.

Leaving Kagura and Suki to torture Kyo in the lobby, Rika went in search of her fiancé. Padding the halls had begun to feel familiar. Comfortable. Even more so with so much of her family about. A rustle from the room designated to Yuki and Machi had her frowning, the woman pushing back the door to reveal a lurking figure.

"Aya?" It was asked with some accusation, "I hope you're not lying in wait to surprise Yuki again. You know how that went last time."

 _Badly_. It had gone _badly._ Rika had been the one to patch up the split eyebrow.

"N _o_ ," Only Ayame could stretch a letter out into an entire sentence, his hand moving to his chest in some kind of indignation, "You brutally wound me! I am here on a mission of diplomacy."

"In Yuki's room?" A brow rose. While the brothers had grown closer over the years, there was still an element of disbelief in Rika's voice.

"Come come," He bounded to her, closing the door and dragging her further into the small room. "I shall explain. It began a _number_ of weeks ago while Mine and I were wrestling Hibi to bed and the doorbell gave us a rather frightful start for it was nine p.m. and who would call at such an hour. So, I checked my messages an-,"

He paused as Rika clapped a hand over his mouth. She had known the man long enough to know not to allow him too much rope or she'd hang him with it out of frustration.

"I'm going to remove my hand in a moment dear Aya and when I do, I want the _condensed_ version. Ten words or less, or I just walk away and let Yuki murder you later." The silver haired man spluttered indignation against her palm but dutifully remained silent as she released him and wiped her skin against the leg of her jeans.

"Yuki confessed a dislike to perfection. I wished to help."

Her suspicion quavered in the weight of his words, Rika nearly keeling over when she realised he'd actually attempted to heed her warning. Blinking, she wondered briefly when _that_ had happened. Noting the baffled edge to her quiet, Ayame's hands reached for her and tugged her right hand to him. Laid it against his chest and ran his thumb over the ring Hatori had managed to finally place upon her the night before.

"You have Hatori's heart, and I swore to him two thousand times the happiness than anyone else. If I make you angry, it does not fulfil my promise."

Rika blinked, cheeks flushing. There was such sincerity in his words she didn't quite know how to answer. Clearing her throat, she leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Let's get this room organised. Or rather, disorganised then." Ayame clapped at her enthusiasm, Rika smiling away her through the casual disintegration of the room's perfection. It seemed that more than one Sohma had the capacity to surprise her this week and this one had come from an unexpected avenue. Her mouth twisted with the knowledge that she was going to have to keep _this_ superpower safe for a while.

* * *

After she'd left Ayame in Yuki's room, Rika had to take a moment to gather her breath. That morning Hatori had gone down to the nearby village and come back with a test to confirm her pregnancy and like a marauding beast – it seemed to have hit her all at once. Tiredness was natural given the two broken nights of sleep but the nausea was new. Almost entirely unwelcome too.

"What's wrong with _you_?"

It was thrown at her like an accusation and Rika swallowed down the sensation in her gut.

"Hiro, always a pleasure kid." Her tone suggested it was anything but, although that wasn't entirely true either. The years had done a lot to soften the teenager's animosity towards her but every now and then his old abrasive edges crept out.

"Don't be an ass. I asked what's wrong with you. You look… _green_ …" Rika waved him off but the young man instead moved to her side and tucked a hand beneath her elbow. He unceremoniously dragged her to the nearest balcony, the cold air hitting her lungs like a blade. Oddly enough, it seemed to work.

Hands grasping at the wooden railing, Rika's stomach began to settle. Hiro stood, arms crossed, just behind her.

"You gonna throw up or just stand there looking rotten?"

"I think I'm good." He took her words as a chance to leave, Rika bowing her head against her hand as she regained control of her gut. Instead of a tell-tale _snick_ of the closing doors from behind her, she heard steps. Felt Hiro hover at her side.

"You want me to get Hatori?" Shaking her head, the teen leaned forward to get a proper look at her face.

"I'm going to our room, I'll be fine." He seemed to retreat again but, once more, appeared back beside her.

"My mom would kill me if I leave you like this. So would Kisa. Especially after she spent weeks helping Hatori make all those origami things." Rika cocked a fair brow, twisting her head to look at him. Hiro bore his agitation on the surface but it was softer now. A little more mature. In many ways he reminded her of Kyo before Kyo had settled into the man he was. At her inquisitive look, his expression grew defensive. "I know what you did for Hoshiko. When he was sick. Hinata said she found you there the morning after like you'd not slept. If I left you here after that looking the way you did, I'd be an ass."

Hoshiko, Hiro's youngest brother, had had a rotten fever a few months previous. Hiro's poor mother had been at her wits end so Rika volunteered to stay with the boy while she got some sleep. Hatori had been treating him but with the clinic to run it made more sense for Rika to take on the burden of a sleepless night rather than have to cancel with their patients. It helped that she was just as equipped to deal with the illness as he would've been. She hadn't even realised Hiro or Hinata knew she'd been there that night, much less that the teen would come back to her with the slivers of gratitude in his voice. Truthfully, Rika found it unnerving.

"You're still an ass." Still, she couldn't help the smile that twisted her mouth.

"And you're still an idiot." He huffed, but she saw the twitch in his lips. "You sure you're alright?"

Nodding, Rika pushed herself upright.

"Just a bad spell. It's passed. Let's go find our better halves yeah?" She was going to have to give Kisa an earwigging for not telling her about the proposal. Not that she was bothered by it really. That Hatori had recruited helpers meant there'd been immense planning. That they'd helped meant others believed in what he was going to do. Nothing could take the warm feeling from her chest right then. Her family was coming together, a little by little. Piece by piece.

The banquet was over, but from its ashes was something new. Something better. A thing that looked a lot like love and even more so, _hope_.


	2. Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took an age and for that all I can say is CoVID-19 has affected a lot - not least of which has been my ability to focus on writing. I can't say my next update will be any quicker, but to anyone who has read and liked the story so far - thank you - your Kudos & comments have made my time recently much more bearable.

The door closed more firmly than Rika had meant, the woman balancing a child on one hip and the bag of groceries against the other.

  
“Shhhssssssssshhh mama,” Aiko admonished her while tightening her stranglehold around Rika’s neck, “Papa might still be sleeping!”

“I know, I know.” She shifted the dark-haired girl against her side, using the tip of her toe to shove back the door between the living room and hallway. It revealed the Papa in question, his long limbs thrown across the sofa with a book balanced on his chest. Mother and daughter shared a conspiratorial smile before Rika quietly closed the door again. “Shall we get the dinner cooking so it’s ready when he wakes?”

“Can I help?” Nodding, Rika moved them both to the kitchen and set the two-year-old onto the counter. Managing to prepare a meal with a child hanging off her was a struggle at the best of times but, eventually, they managed it and topped off the work with a batch of rice and vegetables transferred to the rice cooker.

Mundane rituals had become comfortable to Rika now. There was be clinic work in the mornings while Kisa, Momiji or any of the various cousins watched over Aiko. Three times a week on afternoons, Hatori would see his patients and Rika tackled the other duties of the day. Two days a week, they switched around. On weekends, they simply filled the time as a family.

The preceding week having been more chaotic than usual had left Rika insisting Hatori get some relaxation time in while she took Aiko out for a walk. The man had been snoring before they’d even left the house.

“Mama, is papa sad?”

She nearly dropped the plate she was setting aside for their meal, turning back to Aiko. The girl’s legs dangled far above the ground; the book she’d picked out at the store nestled in her lap. Between her attempts at helping her mother, Aiko had gone back to the little novel as though to read it, flipping through the pages delicately. The movements reminded Rika so much of Hatori that it made her chest ache with something heated and soft.

“Why do you ask that?”

“I dunno. He’s got grumpy face _all the time_.” Laughing, Rika swept her daughter into her arms. There was a hint of forced levity dropped into the movement, the woman wondering just how much of their shared burdens Aiko had been picking up on. Hatori’s fluctuating mood _had_ been more frequent the past couple weeks but his workload had been unforgiving. Expanding the clinic had been his dream but of late, she’d watched the man struggle under the weight of dealing with the internal Sohma mechanics _and_ the external. Squashing down the worry, she let her head drop to her daughters and breathed in the familiar scent of her hair. Formulated a way to soothe the girls worries.

“Well, that _is_ true but only because he was tired this week. I bet he’ll be super happy to have dinner with us soon now he’s had a nap. How about you and I go have a bath so we’re all clean, then after we eat Papa and I can read your new book with you?”

“Okay! You got to show me the words!” Uttering an agreement, she ushered Aiko upstairs to prepare their bath. Later, bodies rinsed and hair tied back - Rika sitting back against the water with Aiko unusually calm against her chest. Bath time was normally chaotic but the aura and necessity for _relaxation_ seemed to have seeped into Aiko too. There was the soft lap of feet splashing gently against the water line while Rika kept her arm around the child’s waist so she remained above the water line. The warmth had eased out her limbs, Rika stiff after her previous evening helping at the dojo.

Letting her eyes flutter shut for a brief second, the cloth over her forehead felt too warm. It made it easy to think of how utterly comfortable her bed was going to be later.

“Papa! Come play!” The splash made her jolt, a nose full of water causing a splutter. Aiko was attempting to climb her way out of the bath and into her sleep rumpled father’s waiting arms. Hatori crossed the room, grabbing a fluffy towel from the warming rail to bundle the girl against his chest.

“I think _you_ need to get into your pyjamas before dinner.” Hatori addressed their daughter first, “And you, my darling wife, are going to prune.”

“I would be the most splendid prune.” Laughing, he released Aiko who took off from the bathroom in little but her birthday suit and the towel trailing behind her. “She’s going to pull out every item of clothing in her cupboards if you don’t stop her.”

“I can tidy it.” The man had crouched to lean against the tub, his shirt sleeves damp where Aiko had left a trail of moisture. Rika leaned forward to meet his mouth, Hatori’s hand curling against the curve of her jaw to pull her towards him. “Have I mentioned that you look especially beautiful today?”

“You may have between the snoring, but I didn’t hear it.” He rolled his eyes at her snip, but it was the trailing kisses he pressed to the line of her throat that sent her thoughts skittering. Rika’s breathing sharpened as he nipped his teeth over her skin. “Aiko will be looking for us.”

“She’s a good girl. She’ll be too busy trying to get both feet into one leg of her pyjama pants again.” His smirk could be felt against her mouth and despite the fact that they both knew they had to tend to their daughter, the dinner, and about a million and one other things – Rika found herself leaning further from the tub to snare her arm around his neck.

Years had passed since that first drunken kiss but Hatori still managed to set her skin alight with few words and a little insinuation. He pulled her against him, drawing her upwards to standing and blindly tugging a towel from the drying rail to curl it around her. Keeping her pressed to his body as he did so, his hands slid below her thighs to lift her and hook her weight against him.

“Papa!” Aiko shouted from the hallway, a heavy groan leaving Rika as she bowed her head against Hatori’s shoulder. “Papa, come see my new book!”

“You’ve been summoned.” Hatori was breathing heavy, a notable flush to his cheeks. _Heavens_ , Rika thought, _I love this smitten idiot._ He left her gently to the ground, the chill of the floor making her shiver slightly and cling fast to his shoulders. Hatori fixed the towel around her as he pulled away, shaking moisture from his clothing as he did so.

“You go dress but know,” He leaned back towards her, “I’ll be pulling it all off of you first instant I get later.” A nip at her bottom lip and he disappeared out the door, Rika sitting backwards against the tub to gather herself. Her palm moved to her stomach at a low rumble, but it was something else that drew her attention. Fingertips pressing lightly to her breast the woman’s face screwed up in thought. When had her last cycle been?

A call from Aiko drew her thoughts elsewhere and the idea lay forgotten until late that evening when Rika lay against her husband’s chest, breathing laboured and body slick with moisture.

“Hari,” She had to force herself to think through the foggy haze of her mind, head rested on his shoulder. “I think I might be pregnant again.”

“I know it was good, but it takes a little more than that for you to be expecting.” Sniggering, she swatted at his face.

“You egotistical bastard. No, I mean I already was. Maybe. _Before_ the world rocking.” His hand made contact with her upper arm as Hatori angled her away from his body, familiar grey-blue eyes studying her for any sign of a joke. When none came, he twisted from beneath her to over her, eyes wide.

“Really?”

Rika nodded.

“I’m three weeks late _and_ I bought three things of ginger today. Without even thinking.” The last time she’d craved that much, Aiko had been brewing in her belly. It wasn’t too difficult to extrapolate the knowledge. A test would confirm things but that would have to wait until tomorrow. For now she was happy to bask in the excitement of adding to their family.

“I love you.” His head buried itself against her neck, a palm spreading flat over her abdomen and keeping her close. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I’m grateful for it. _Every day_.”

Calling him a sap, the woman didn’t miss the edge to his voice. The heavy emotion. Something was off, but for now – _for now_ – they could pretend it was fine. Everything, _everything_ , was fine.

**

Rika woke alone, hand scraping across into emptiness and the weighted void of her husband. Brow furrowed, she scanned the room to try figure out where he’d gone and settled upon an emergency call to the main house as the answer. Most days, she woke first. An old hangover of the time living with Kyo, mornings were where she was most productive. In contrast, Hatori was a bit of a night owl. He preferred to work into the evenings and wake later. As a rhythm, it worked for them. 

To find him absent was a rare experience, which narrowed down the reasoning to Akito and the main house. While their clinic had expanded to treat those outside of the inner family, their pagers were only for direct relatives and friends. She sighed. Hoped it was something small this time and not a repeat of - 

A slam of the door told her Aiko was awake, and thus, her day began in earnest. Through the hours she worked on preparing breakfast and meal plans, getting the retired Dr. Fujioka to swing by and cover Hatori’s usual patients and managing the rest herself. Forced herself not to dwell on the silence from her husband. The evasive answers received from the maids at the main house, their anxiety blending sharply into Rika’s own. By six, she packed Aiko off to Kisa’s for a sleepover. Seven rolled around. Nine.

It was after ten when he returned, Rika sitting agitatedly in their living room with a barely glanced at book in her hands. He swept past the dimly lit room to his clinic office and after a hesitant beat, Rika followed. 

She found him hurling soft toys at the nearby screen door, some of his throws already having shredded the paper. They’d established the system as a coping mechanism for anger. A means to expend energy and rage without violence. Heavens knew their family had seen enough of that. This, however, was the first time Rika observed Hatori using the system. 

“Hari?” Voice tentative, she stepped into the room. He froze, head bowed, and a tortured looking stuffed animal throttled between his hands. “What’s happened?”

“Do you ever think that we’re still bearing the curse?” She didn’t like the bladed edge to his voice. It was almost pointedly apathetic, as though whatever it was he felt had already been shoved down deep. “Or that, because of our actions we’ll always have a sin to bear. A flaw?”

“I think,” She murmured as she walked towards him to clasp his hands, and the increasingly distressed elephant toy, between her own, “The curse only has power over us now if we allow it to.”

“ _Bullshit_.” His outburst was louder than expected. She flinched. He looked immediately apologetic, a hand rising to cover his face. “I’m sorry. _I’m sorry._ ”

His body curved forward, pushed her back until his head was at the height of her naval. A dry heave was the only thing that escaped him then, wretched and broken as his fingers clawed at the hem of her shirt. Settled on her hips. The position couldn’t have been comfortable. Still, Rika’s concern was sounding an alarm in her head as Hatori peppered sobs with apologies. She levered him to his knees and his head into her lap. Whispered soft platitudes as he wept, the hands that grasped her hips almost painful in their force. Grief was a familiar emotion in the Sohma family but it was rare to see it rock Hatori. 

“Akito?” Was all she asked.

“I tried. _I tried_.” Rika’s blood ran cold. “She lost another one.” 

In the past three years, shortly after Shigure and Akito had married - Akito had confided that they had begun to try for a child. Thus far, it has culminated in three early miscarriages and now, two late stage spontaneous abortions. Five months this time. Rika couldn’t bear to see that pain reflected again. Especially when Aiko’s birth has happened so smoothly. When she was pregnant _again_. 

Hatori was clinging to the curse for comfort. A _reason_ for all this pain. 

“Akito has always struggled with ill health. She’s improved, but we both knew that her body couldn’t handle too much strain.” Science. Logic. Those were her comforts. Somehow, they felt too cold. Detached.

“But what if it’s not?! What if it’s payback for all the things done in the name of the Zodiac?” She hated to hear him sound so lost. So wholly _unlike_ himself. “We live in a world where once upon a time I turned into a fucking _animal_ when someone hugged me. Who’s to say that doesn’t leave a residual mark on us all? That it won’t _come_ for us?” 

“ _We’ve_ not been affected.” His exhale was sharp. She winced at the way his grip tightened. 

“And I live everyday waiting for the other shoe to drop. For my sins to cause us pain and suffering like I reaped on others. I used to absolve myself by saying it was the curse. That I was following the rules but I _hurt_ people Rika. I hurt _you!_ How am I deserving of anything close to what we have now?!”

There’d been variations of this argument in the past. When they’d been tiptoeing around their relationship at the beginning, examining the role he had played in extracting her memories had played a large role in Rika’s ability to trust him. Even so, he’d never been _malicious_. Not a single time in her memory did she think of the man as the monster he was painting himself as now. Someone trapped by the curse was far more apt, but guilt was a fickle creature. It chose its moments of eruption without care for the person carrying its weight.

Hatori took a long slow breath, Rika’s attempts at quiet comfort stilling against his head as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“I used to call Shigure cruel, but _I_ was just as rotten. He acted in the interests of breaking the curse, bad actions to lead to good outcomes. I _hated_ him at one point after Kana, for _loving_ Akito the way he did. I hated _myself_ but still, I tried to paint myself as some innocent fool. As though I was removed and _helping_ by switching it all off.”

“Hari -,”

“I chose apathy over feeling because it was the only way I thought to survive but what if I had actually _bothered_ to fight? If I had tried to change it all before Shigure brought in Tohru or you came back?” He was openly sobbing again and Rika’s heart twisted in her chest. “I just let things happen. After you, after _Kana_ I stopped fighting at all. I knew how dangerous Akito was then and I let her take her pain out on everyone. Thought it was enough to patch them back together over and over as though those injuries hadn’t happened in the first place. What kind of _monster_ does that?”

“Sto-”

“I’m a wretched excus-,”

“ _Stop!”_ Voice raised, Rika covered his mouth and yanked his hand away from his covered eyes. “You stop that _right fucking now_.”

Stunned silence followed, and within it, Rika tried to find a way to continue their discussion without having to listen to her husband speak horrible words into existence.

They sat there a long moment, Hatori’s head still in her lap and Rika’s head bowed.

“We, _none_ of us, acted like normal people during the curse. None of us know how it rippled out and affected things but all of us _survived the only way we knew how_.” She exhaled sharply, blinking back moisture in her own eyes, “Akito became angry, I _left_. You chose apathy. Kyo chose stubborn rage. None of those choices were _right_ Hatori. Not one of them. Except they were all we had to work with while the curse made us fight to be something _more_ than any person should ever be. We had casualties and pain, but we are trying to make amends to those now. No -,” He’d opened his mouth under her palm and Rika gave a sharp shake of her head, “No, let me speak. You’ve been carrying this guilt around for years because you are a good person who was forced into a situation and had to make bad choices to survive. You lost your father and became a caretaker for Akito and I. You gave me up because _I begged you to_. Hari all of us were _children_. Even you, Shigure and Ayame. All of us were damaged in irreparable ways but no one, not a single _one_ of us - _especially not you,_ is a monster because of what we survived.” Even Akito was a product of false promises and loose guidance.

For Rika, all those flaws had been who they were _then_. She and Akito weren’t best friends, but they had a bond again. A tentative one, built on mutual hard work in changing the archaic systems of the Sohma family. On carefully laid out trust. Shigure had Akito now, therefore no more reason to pull strings. Kyo had the acceptance he deserved. Yuki had challenges and support.

“The curse is gone, but the damage it wrought will live on forever. Akito’s body has always been weakened, as was Uncle Akira’s. Your eye will never heal. We have to live with our choices, no matter how utterly wretched they were but we are not defined by them Hatori. We cannot blame the curse, and we cannot blame ourselves. If we do that, we’re showing our kids we’re no better than what our parents showed us, a bunch of embittered people waiting for terrible things to happen and bringing it into existence.”

It took a moment before she heard him breathe again, his eyes revealed slowly as his head tilted backwards into her lap. A palm rising to tuck against her cheek. Rika let him lower her down towards him, a kiss pressed soft and damp to her mouth. One arm propped her up, the feel of the matting on the floor rough beneath her palm.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” Rika shut her eyes a second, then shifted so that she was on her side on the floor beside the man. They lay nose to nose, curled tight in a mockery of koi circling one another. “Hari - I’m not saying don’t feel. I _love_ that you have emotions that run so deep. It’s what makes you a terrific doctor. A brilliant husband. You always know when to support me. When to give me a kick up the ass.” His chuckle was watery.

“But you can’t bear these losses as your fault alone, and you _can’t_ spend life waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“I know.” 

She let her eyes shut as the quiet of the house overtook them. Their fingers crept across the mat to find one another, linking tight and steadfast. Life was not easy. It never was.

“Tomorrow, we’ll clear the maids for a couple days. I’ll put Akito on vacation and we’ll support them both in any way we can.” Rika could take the bulk of the work with the family businesses while her family allowed themselves to grieve. They had it down to an art by now. Handling pain and suffering. It was almost laughable.

Tucking a possessive arm around Hatori’s shoulders, Rika tried to imagine a world where there hadn’t been a curse. A life without scars and damage and trauma layered so thick it was a wonder any of them rose out of bed in the mornings. Trouble was that a life without those things would’ve been a life without her husband. Their children. Without Kyo and Kisa and Momiji. A life like that would be simply put – unbearable.


End file.
